I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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