Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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