Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
