shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
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yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
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That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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