We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize