I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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