So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
