His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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