I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
