Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
