My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
