We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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