In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
