I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
