I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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