Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
