I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
