I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
