Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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