sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
