garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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