I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
