if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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