I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
