I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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