I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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