Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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