so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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