why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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