I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize