and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize