Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The struggles of a small town man whore
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize