My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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