I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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