why didn't you poke me back
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
