then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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