I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
