You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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