Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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