I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize