we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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