theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
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I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
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In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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