i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
