Umm I'm too high to move.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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