for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
