I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
