He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
