Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
