why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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