If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
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6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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