No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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