Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
