Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
