She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
