so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.