Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
