What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
