Yo dont text me then not text me
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
