I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
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I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
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Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it