The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
