you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize