Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
