Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
