Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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