i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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