Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
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I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
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Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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